Do It Anyway
A speaker I really like talks about fear and how people get immobilized by things they are afraid of and begin to believe they "can't" do certain things. For example, "I'm afraid to fly, therefore, I can't get on a plane." "I'm afraid of being laughed at, thus I can not speak in front of people." Obviously, we all struggle with fears like these.
Her advice..."...Well...why don't you just do it afraid?" Do it afraid? Step out of my comfort zone and do something I am afraid of? HOW? Well, to borrow from NIKE, "Just DO It."
I'm not saying that it's easy. It's not...not at all. The time when you least feel like doing something is probably when you need to do it the most. As hard as it may be, it can help you get unstuck and moving in the right direction.
Believe me, I know how paralyzing fear can be. But if you ever want to have the good life you dream of, you have to find the courage to face those fears. It can just be a tiny baby step. But it shows tremendous courage to "do it afraid..." whatever IT is.
Courage is not the absence of fear, it is the going ahead and doing what you need to do in spite of the fear.
Sometimes the struggle becomes all consuming until you can't see the light at the end of the tunnel any more. At a time like that it feels reasonable to just give in and quit trying because you simply don't have the energy to deal with it any more.
That is when you most need to do something.
Sometimes, the last thing I feel like doing is praying. But I go on ahead and do it, even if I feel like I 'm talking to a wall. Whether or not my prayers are heard or answered isn't based on how I feel. They can't be heard or answered unless I actually DO it.
Sometimes we get so desperately stuck we need help to get out of it. Personally I HATE to ask for help. I would actually prefer a root canal to admitting that I can't get it together. I don't want people to know I can't do everything myself. As women, we are under such tremendous pressure to be super heroes, and you can keep that front up for a while, but it is not reality. Sometimes things can't be fixed on your own, so you just have to go on ahead and ask for help anyway.
I've had to do it at times, and it is really, really hard...even from the people you love, and who love you the most. I would rather try to pull myself up by the bootstraps, but sometimes it just doesn't work. On those times when I have reached out for help, that is always when the tide began to turn and things got better.
When someone you love is struggling, you may not particularly feel like taking up the slack, or listening to their sob story, or letting them wallow in self pity. But if you love them, and that's what they need, you do it anyway.
It definitely stinks that when you're depressed or sick or completely out of it, things still have to get done, but that's life. The clothes and dishes won't wash themselves, the car won't fill itself with gas...and you won't magically feel better unless you do something.
Even if you're exhausted and tired and thinking, “what's the point?” you have to do it anyway. You may not be physically or mentally able to do certain things. The point is you have to do something.
The something can be anything...anything that will move you in the right direction. It can be tiny. As tiny as simply saying to a friend, “Hey, I really need to talk to someone.” Or forcing yourself to do the dishes even though you would rather have that root canal. Or writing a blog post even though you don't feel like you have anything worthwhile to say.
Whatever IT is for you, just do it. You will feel better for doing it, and it will get you moving toward something positive.
The hard truth is that even if you paint on a smile, you still may feel awful. The house may look like crap despite your best effort to clean it. Even if you write words meant to encourage, they still may come across as dark. Do it anyway.
I have found this to be a powerful and profound truth in my own life, and I wouldn't write it if I didn't truly believe it.
This song and video says it more beautifully than I ever could...
This incredible song is based upon The Paradoxical Commandments by by Dr. Kent M. Keith.
The Paradoxical Commandments
People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered.
Love them anyway.
If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.
Do good anyway.
If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies.
Succeed anyway.
The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
Do good anyway.
Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.
Be honest and frank anyway.
The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds.
Think big anyway.
People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs.
Fight for a few underdogs anyway.
What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.
Build anyway.
People really need help but may attack you if you do help them.
Help people anyway.
Give the world the best you have and you'll get kicked in the teeth.
Give the world the best you have anyway.
Thanks for reading, and God bless.
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Thursday, February 11, 2010
When Hope Seems Gone
This is meant to be a place of encouragement. But what do you do when you are having trouble encouraging yourself? I'm sure we have all felt that way at times. No matter what you do, nothing seems to be the right choice. It starts to feel all wrong...even hopeless.
If you have ever really been down there, you know what I'm talking about. When you are down there, some times you feel like you will never get up and never get out. It may take longer than you would like, but you will. Even though it may not feel like it, there is always hope.
Life is full of seasons. Seasons of hope and change, and seasons of doubt and sorrow. That is the roller coaster ride of life. We all lose hope from time to time. We get discouraged. Not everyone's life gets a story book ending. Things don't work out the way we plan. We do something with the best of intentions, only to have it back fire and blow up in our face.
There's no getting around the truth...some times life really sucks. We can be on top of the world one minute and then fall into a deep dark hole the next. Some folks are more prone to struggle with these things, while others have built up a resilience to help them in times of discouragement.
That's what I've learned about discouragement, you have to build up your resiliency to find a way to cope. And it can be really hard. It can take a long time. But step by step, doing little things for yourself, you will begin to feel better. You may just have to ride it out.
The thing you can count on about life, though, is change. Everything changes, and we don't always like it, yet we have to adapt. But, over time, every thing does change...including feelings of hopelessness, discouragement, or losing your way.
When you just feel hope is gone, do whatever makes you feel the least bit better. Pray. Hug your kids. Pet your dog. Try to think of anything, just one thing, to be grateful for. Do something for someone else. These are not quick fixes, but they have been known to help. Keep doing these things, especially when you don't feel like it. That is when you need to do them the most.
I am generally a really UP beat kind of person with a positive attitude. But on those occasions when I do get down, sometimes I feel helpless...powerless to make myself feel better. And maybe that is not the point. Maybe I am not supposed to feel better. Sometimes we just have to feel whatever we are feeling, even though it sucks, until it works itself out.
When I get bummed I usually turn to music. Sometimes a song can articulate what you can not find the words to say. Some times you don't even know what you are feeling. A song can reach into that hurting place in your soul and give you a glimmer of hope. Find a song that speaks to you. Don't give up.
Here is a good one.
"Hope For The Hopeless"
by A Fine Frenzy
Lyrics
"stitch in your knitted brow
and you don't know how
you're gonna get it out
crushed under heavy chest
trying to catch your breath
but it always beats you by a step,
all right now
making the best of it
playing the cards you get
you're not alone in this
there's hope for the hopeless
hope for the hopeless
there's hope
cold in a summer breeze
yeah, you're shivering
on your bended knee
still, though your heart is sore
and the heavens pour
like a willow bending with the storm,
you'll make it
running against the wind
playing the cards you get
something is bound to give
there's hope for the hopeless
hope for the hopeless
there's hope
there's hope for the hopeless
hope for the hopeless
there's hope"
Hang in there..."You're not alone in this...There's hope...You'll make it."
God bless.
If you have ever really been down there, you know what I'm talking about. When you are down there, some times you feel like you will never get up and never get out. It may take longer than you would like, but you will. Even though it may not feel like it, there is always hope.
Life is full of seasons. Seasons of hope and change, and seasons of doubt and sorrow. That is the roller coaster ride of life. We all lose hope from time to time. We get discouraged. Not everyone's life gets a story book ending. Things don't work out the way we plan. We do something with the best of intentions, only to have it back fire and blow up in our face.
There's no getting around the truth...some times life really sucks. We can be on top of the world one minute and then fall into a deep dark hole the next. Some folks are more prone to struggle with these things, while others have built up a resilience to help them in times of discouragement.
That's what I've learned about discouragement, you have to build up your resiliency to find a way to cope. And it can be really hard. It can take a long time. But step by step, doing little things for yourself, you will begin to feel better. You may just have to ride it out.
The thing you can count on about life, though, is change. Everything changes, and we don't always like it, yet we have to adapt. But, over time, every thing does change...including feelings of hopelessness, discouragement, or losing your way.
When you just feel hope is gone, do whatever makes you feel the least bit better. Pray. Hug your kids. Pet your dog. Try to think of anything, just one thing, to be grateful for. Do something for someone else. These are not quick fixes, but they have been known to help. Keep doing these things, especially when you don't feel like it. That is when you need to do them the most.
I am generally a really UP beat kind of person with a positive attitude. But on those occasions when I do get down, sometimes I feel helpless...powerless to make myself feel better. And maybe that is not the point. Maybe I am not supposed to feel better. Sometimes we just have to feel whatever we are feeling, even though it sucks, until it works itself out.
When I get bummed I usually turn to music. Sometimes a song can articulate what you can not find the words to say. Some times you don't even know what you are feeling. A song can reach into that hurting place in your soul and give you a glimmer of hope. Find a song that speaks to you. Don't give up.
Here is a good one.
"Hope For The Hopeless"
by A Fine Frenzy
Lyrics
"stitch in your knitted brow
and you don't know how
you're gonna get it out
crushed under heavy chest
trying to catch your breath
but it always beats you by a step,
all right now
making the best of it
playing the cards you get
you're not alone in this
there's hope for the hopeless
hope for the hopeless
there's hope
cold in a summer breeze
yeah, you're shivering
on your bended knee
still, though your heart is sore
and the heavens pour
like a willow bending with the storm,
you'll make it
running against the wind
playing the cards you get
something is bound to give
there's hope for the hopeless
hope for the hopeless
there's hope
there's hope for the hopeless
hope for the hopeless
there's hope"
Hang in there..."You're not alone in this...There's hope...You'll make it."
God bless.
Friday, January 29, 2010
Hope and Change...REALLY.
This is a blog I have wanted to do for a long time. I actually set it up several months ago and then just left it on the back burner. Like so many of my "brilliant" ideas, I am good at thinking of them...but the following through...not so much! I am endeavoring to do better.
Well folks it's a new year, a new decade, a time for fresh starts. Thank GOD. I have been hearing so much talk lately about how 2000 to 2009 was the "decade from hell" and the "decade we would all like to forget." Hard to argue with. I mean it started out with 9/11, proceeded to two lengthy wars, corporate corruption, economic disaster, and a new president who promised "hope and change" but has yet to deliver.
I don't really want to make this about politics so I will just leave him out of it. I bring him up because he was such a figure of hope for so many...with this "decade from hell" winding down, I think a lot of people saw in him a chance for a fresh start. A lot of people are finding a fresh start isn't as easy as it sounds, and that "change" certainly doesn't happen over night.
The good news is change does happen, slowly and over time. If there are things in your life that are not working for you, you can change them. There are no quick fixes. Any one who has tried to lose weight or make money on the internet knows that. Fad diets and get rich quick schemes leave you feeling worse than before because you haven't changed anything, you feel like a doof, and you have shelled out money.
There is no "get happy overnight" scheme. If you want to enjoy your life, you have to work at it...every day. There are little things you can do each and every day to shift your thinking, change your attitude and turn the negativity around.
Let's face it, we live in an extremely difficult time and a very negative world. But that doesn't mean we can't find joy and hope and beauty on a daily basis. Even Holocaust prisoners found a way to not only survive, but even find joy in that awful situation.
Read the story of Victor Frankl and you will be beyond inspired. An Austrian psychiatrist and neurologist, Frankl was a prisoner in Auschwitz and other Nazi concentration camps. During his time there he concluded that no matter what the circumstances are around you, even if seemingly everything is taken from you and you are stripped of all your rights, no one can force you to be unhappy. You can choose joy just to spite the enemy, whatever it is.
"Everything can be taken from a man but one thing; the last of the human freedoms – to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way."
Victor Frankl went on to write a famous book about the meaning of life and did much work in the area of finding purpose in his work as a doctor. This sums up what he ascertained through his research and practice.
"We must never forget that we may also find meaning in life even when confronted with a hopeless situation, when facing a fate that cannot be changed. For what then matters is to bear witness to the uniquely human potential at its best, which is to transform a personal tragedy into a triumph, to turn one's predicament into a human achievement. When we are no longer able to change a situation - just think of an incurable disease such as inoperable cancer - we are challenged to change ourselves."
Remember, those are the words of a man who spent years in concentration camps. A brilliant man, a scientist and doctor, was abused and belittled in every way imaginable. The one thing the Nazis could not take from him was his hope.
I am so glad you stopped by, and I hope you will come back often. Let's work to build each other up. There is more than enough tearing down in this world. We all need a little encouragement from time to time. If I can help to provide that to you, then that is my honor and my joy.
God bless.
Well folks it's a new year, a new decade, a time for fresh starts. Thank GOD. I have been hearing so much talk lately about how 2000 to 2009 was the "decade from hell" and the "decade we would all like to forget." Hard to argue with. I mean it started out with 9/11, proceeded to two lengthy wars, corporate corruption, economic disaster, and a new president who promised "hope and change" but has yet to deliver.
I don't really want to make this about politics so I will just leave him out of it. I bring him up because he was such a figure of hope for so many...with this "decade from hell" winding down, I think a lot of people saw in him a chance for a fresh start. A lot of people are finding a fresh start isn't as easy as it sounds, and that "change" certainly doesn't happen over night.
The good news is change does happen, slowly and over time. If there are things in your life that are not working for you, you can change them. There are no quick fixes. Any one who has tried to lose weight or make money on the internet knows that. Fad diets and get rich quick schemes leave you feeling worse than before because you haven't changed anything, you feel like a doof, and you have shelled out money.
There is no "get happy overnight" scheme. If you want to enjoy your life, you have to work at it...every day. There are little things you can do each and every day to shift your thinking, change your attitude and turn the negativity around.
Let's face it, we live in an extremely difficult time and a very negative world. But that doesn't mean we can't find joy and hope and beauty on a daily basis. Even Holocaust prisoners found a way to not only survive, but even find joy in that awful situation.
Read the story of Victor Frankl and you will be beyond inspired. An Austrian psychiatrist and neurologist, Frankl was a prisoner in Auschwitz and other Nazi concentration camps. During his time there he concluded that no matter what the circumstances are around you, even if seemingly everything is taken from you and you are stripped of all your rights, no one can force you to be unhappy. You can choose joy just to spite the enemy, whatever it is.
"Everything can be taken from a man but one thing; the last of the human freedoms – to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way."
Victor Frankl went on to write a famous book about the meaning of life and did much work in the area of finding purpose in his work as a doctor. This sums up what he ascertained through his research and practice.
"We must never forget that we may also find meaning in life even when confronted with a hopeless situation, when facing a fate that cannot be changed. For what then matters is to bear witness to the uniquely human potential at its best, which is to transform a personal tragedy into a triumph, to turn one's predicament into a human achievement. When we are no longer able to change a situation - just think of an incurable disease such as inoperable cancer - we are challenged to change ourselves."
Remember, those are the words of a man who spent years in concentration camps. A brilliant man, a scientist and doctor, was abused and belittled in every way imaginable. The one thing the Nazis could not take from him was his hope.
I am so glad you stopped by, and I hope you will come back often. Let's work to build each other up. There is more than enough tearing down in this world. We all need a little encouragement from time to time. If I can help to provide that to you, then that is my honor and my joy.
God bless.
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